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Everytime I think of axing my "twisted toys" category, another article or product comes along to rescue it.
February 17, 2004 -- Children who play with prank toys that mimic bodily functions may develop antisocial behavior, experts warn.These toys violate social taboos and blur the line between what is socially acceptable behavior and what is not, they say.
"You keep expanding the boundaries for appropriate behavior, and it gives permission for inappropriate expressions," said Alan Siskind, a child psychologist and head of the Jewish Board of Family and Children Services.
These toys increase the child's fascination with bodily functions and encourages enactment of lewd behavior, he said.
adult games
-Lorrie Moore Telephone. Start with the wife, end with the husband, and watch domesticity go off the hook.
-Wide Sargasso Sea edition, Newlywed Game. Favorite nickname: 'Hilda?'
-Spin the Bottle with Sound and Fury. Play w/ little sis.
party games
-Pin the Scarlet Letter on the Whore
-2 Minutes in the Closet w/ Clarissa
board games
-Time Traveler's Wife Chutes and Ladders
-Brief Sketches of Hideous Men Pictionary
more
-Death in Venice Slip n Slide, Ages 11-14
-free Sylvia Plath Suicide Doll with purchase of E-Z Bake Oven
-Connect Four Virgin Suicides
-Hungry Hungry Hipsters. Eat the pills to win.
This site is a joke, and at one point topped the Daypop and Blogdex charts.
But, it makes me want to vomit out my soul.
One of the categories I plan on axing soon is "Twisted Toys." Until then: this.
Some costumes I came across searching for my 10.31 outfit:
1. Goths don't intimidate me.
2. This doesn't help resolve the Pluto/Goofy how-can-they-both-be-dogs debate.
3. From Roseanne's less successful sitcom, Wet Barr.
4. What "meowr" sounded like in the '80s.
5. Go on, Jimmy, hug the clown.
6. And now it's time to wake up.
The most interesting things people have done with fetos are 1) braiding them into their hair, 2)making a giant necklace of 50 beads 3)putting them in a dish as a conversation piece.Many people speculate about a FeTO commercial. If I have the money, I'll have to make one. Something about kids dancing around to a snappy jingle with feto necklaces, rings, and hair scrunchees gives me a goal to work towards, I guess. Maybe one of the kids could jump over something tall with his bike, and tell the other kids that he owes it all to fetos. Awesome.
found at B.A.'s weblog: Nightmare Machine. Ahhh! Make it stop!
Barbies You Won't See In A Store
link via the presurfer
related link: the visible barbie project, a send up of the visible human project.
link via the eyes have it
uncanny dolls.
link via solipsistic
link via fiendish is the word
"We make stuffed animals that look like tiny microbes—only a million times actual size! Now available: The Common Cold, The Flu, Sore Throat, and Stomach Ache. "
link via Incoming Signals
-Buddhist Action Figures
-Moses Action Figure
-Scatology Dolls
Feral Robotics: Dog Report
Elizabeth McGrath's Taxidermy Toys
Jeremy Dennis loves his toys.
Above, the Bad Ass Dolls. Elton, far left, is "the first GAY DOLL in US history! Whether you're gay or straight you'll LAUGH OUT LOUD when you hear him!" Hear Elton speak.
"An American toy company has begun selling a talking doll of the Iraqi Information Minister, widely known as Comical Ali."
Also: Vintage Toy Ads.
"The U.S. military has put out a most-wanted list of Iraqi regime leaders in the form of a deck of cards. Click through the entire deck of 55 cards."
"The robot is . . . targeted at the elderly, for whom having someone to talk to is essential to their well-being, Mr Kato said. It has completed successful trials at retirement homes. "
As if that isn't troubling enough, here's an earlier paragraph from the article: "One problem with Wakamaru, as is the case for most such 'robot-partners', is that it understands only phrases formatted exactly like those programmed into it. If the order of the words is changed, the robot is lost."
Milky the Marvelous Milking Cow
"To get Milky to drink from its bucket of water, you simply had to 'pump its tail gently' until Milky lowered its head and sucked it down dutifully. When Milky was done drinking, it would raise its head and let loose with a meek 'moo,' and then the milking fun could begin! All that was left to do was place the sturdy plastic bucket directly underneath Milky’s midsection and pull gingerly on the fairly lifelike soft rubber udders. Not surprisingly, Milky would issue forth a stream of cloudy water into the bucket." (from yesterdayland)
that this just isn't right.
Toys have never been this twisted.
A group of Jehovah's Witnesses on their way into a meeting had found the cuddly toy with a note reading: "If you touch me I will blow up. I am a bomb."
More twisted toys entries.
Order your own advanced childbirth simulator.
"Blanche's 6-month-old son, Alex, got the toy as a Christmas present. It makes soothing sounds and music for baby to fall asleep to, with an illuminated picture of a cartoon-style aquarium on the front.
But in between the white noise of ocean waves, a tiny babyish voice pipes up with childhood angst." [more>]
-Waiting in Line to Die: Death at Disneyland. "For not all of the millions of 'guests' entering the park in search of fantasy and pleasure survive to see the Electric Parade. They will leave the park in body bags, struck down by fantasy 'attractions' run amok."
-Gods' Little Ones. Get figurines based on pictures of your miscarried baby. According to JANE magazine, "The three-to-20-weeks-along figurines can be shipped to you in a thimble or sippy cup, or come fastened to a classy lapel pin." (Last I checked, the site's hit its bandwidth limit. But bookmark it for future moments of morbidity.)
also see: inflatable buildings, inflatable houses, inflatable games, inflatable love doll ("She can please all of you"), infalatable furniture, infalatable speakers, inflatable movie screen, the inflatable galleries.
FAO Schwarz offers Ultimate Birthday Parties and Ultimate Sleepover Adventures. It makes me want to be a kid again, though my parents would never have paid $17,500.00 for a sleep-over.
Also see: The World's Most Expensive Toys.
From "The Dirty Dozen," a list of 12 toys for parents to avoid:
Description: This dollhouse looks like a home that has been hit by a bomb: there are holes in the roof, one wall is demolished, bullets are scattered on the floor, and the porch railings are broken.
Why we chose it: This playhouse, marketed as appropriate for children five and up, trivializes the harsh reality of war. The house comes with dozens of “accessories,” including a machine gun, rocket launcher, magazine belt and explosives. “This bombed-out version of Barbie’s Dream House is sure to excite bloodthirsty passions in even the most passive of preschoolers,” wrote one Amazon reviewer.
Dollhouse enthusiasts may be creepy, but dollhouses can be magnificent, architectural, or campy. Everything you can find in a real house you can buy for a dollhouse: bidets, pool tables, chairs, paintings, pianos, family photos, rugs, Jewish meals, floral arrangements, pewter, caskets, wicker furniture and dishes.
If you like what you see, you can check out more dollhouses, including replicas of famous palaces, at The Carole and Barry Kaye Museum of Miniatures.
For Daddy's little princess. [found on scrubbles]
"Social worker and psychologist Joe Tucci said toys like Stretch Screamers were dangerous because they desensitised children to violence." [pics from Amazon]
Notice anything unusual about this Japanese video game?
Combining two of my favorite themes: lightning strikes and wicked toys.
I wasn't sure which excerpt to pick:
"We've been told the house is built on top of a Roman burial site so I'm convinced it's something to do with that."
or
A child's doll also appears to have taken to moving around the house of its own accord.
game by game, a revisionist history of childhood
Syringe candy. Why is this getting so much press when syringe pens have been around for ages? A classmate of mine, Rebecca, would go around the playground stabbing friends. Nobody wanted to be her friend.
internet tours of amusement park rides, including funhouses
The site that brought you theory cards now brings you. . . lego theorists.
Mental illness has become rampant among children. To help yours fit in, click on the illness that will suit them best:
-elimination disorders: definition/toy
-narcissicm: definition/ toy
-antisocial personality disorder: definition/ toy
-shared psychotic disorder: definition / toy
-other (read the description: "given how polite she is")
-paranoid personality disorder: definition/ toy:
