(i've got a man)

Match.com has a long, in-depth physical attraction test targeting what features you find most attractive in a sexual partner.

According to the test, I prefer handsome blond men, which means my "type" is -- in a chicken-or-egg-type query -- the boy I'm dating.

kant, you cunt. if i'm wrong, you can't be right.

Via the never aging Caterina, I found the ethical philosophy selector. My top 5 matches (percentages are curved):

1. Kant   (100%)  
2. John Stuart Mill   (94%) 
3. Jean-Paul Sartre   (89%)  
4. Jeremy Bentham   (69%) 
5. Aquinas   (60%)  

Kant and others are described here, and the descriptions remind me why I don't take ethical advice from online quiz results.

theory quizzes

This site was originally designed for a class at Purdue University, but any internet straggler can take its quizzes. You can test yourself in Narratology, Psychology, or Postmodernism, and can use the answer key as a short theory refresher or introduction.

i'm quizzical

I'm still haunted by the BBC-sponsored quiz I took over a month ago. The questions asked how well I sensed others' emotions and I tried to answer truthfully: I can't ever, definitively, say I know what others' emotions are, though I'm constantly assuming them. My quiz results: based on my inability to know others' emotions, I have autism. I don't. I retook the quiz, de-intellectualized my idea of "knowing," and became a healthy, social person.

This morning, I'm thinking about that quiz again because another quiz, an excerpted version of the Myers-Briggs test I loved as a kid, recently became an internet hit. But almost every question assumes something incorrect. Question no.1: Do you like writers who (a) say what they mean (b) use metaphors and symbolism?

I think authors use metaphors and symbolism to say what they mean. I think every author "says what he means," despite his style. So, to answer the question, I have to break the question down to a simpler question -- question no. 1 becomes, Is your thinking style (a) straightforward and analytical or (b) circumvent and imaginative? The process of interpreting what question is really being asked, and answering it, is the process of self-identification. Skip the quiz then, and go straight to the results you best identify with.

(Despite all that, I took the quiz. I used to be an INTJ, and now score as an INTP. "Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off." My exact results: E:1, I: 9, S: 2, N: 8, T: 6, F: 5, J: 5, P: 6.)

more more morrissey

According to the Gaurdian's weekly lit quiz, I'm a literary genius. But I'm only linking it because the quiz quotes the Smiths, and shows M. wearing his Oscar Wilde shirt.

it's the quiz that's histrionic, not me

I usually avoid "what personality disorder do you have?" quizzes, because the quizzes tend to tell me I have all of them. More than reflecting my personality, I think these quizzes reflect my test-taking style. For example, the quiz I linked to asks, "Do you always feel the need to have a story to tell?" I'm a short story writer, so I answered Yes. My result: highly histrionic ("People with histrionic personality disorder . . . use grandiose language to discribe* everyday events.").
*That's how they spell it.
link via coyote's bark

Marginally related: Mickey Mouse Trying to Commit Suicide
link via speckled paint

the balanced brain

What type of brain do you have?
According to Baron-Cohen's theory, a person (whether male or female) has a particular 'brain type'. There are three common brain types: the female brain, the male brain and the balanced brain.
A key feature of the theory is that your sex cannot tell you which type of brain you have. Not all men have the male brain, and not all women have the female brain. The central claim of this new theory is only that on average, more males than females have a brain of type S, and more females than males have a brain of type E.

A friend once told me I have a masculine mind, but my test results claim my mind is "balanced":

But, like all psychological quizzes, this test seems to reflect self-conception rather than personality or 'brain type.'

quizzes, hardcore

-What's your Value Package? It's the Hartman Value Profile, and it's "a standardized test, just eighteen questions long, that not only can tell you things about yourself that will haunt you for weeks, [but] can diagnose how good you are. . . and how evil." (quoted from This American Life on PBS, test and quote found on six different ways.)
-"Most people have heard of the Rorschach test (pronounced "raw-shock"), but few have ever seen a real Rorschach inkblot. The blots are kept secret. When you see an inkblot in a popular article on the test, it's a fake: it's an inkblot, but not one of the inkblots. There are only ten Rorschach inkblots." But now you can see the real, authentic blots, along with information on how the test is scored.

don't hate writers because they're beautiful

Take the 'model, writer, whatever quiz.'

quizzes, haven't seen them for a while

What type of villain are you?
Are you Thomas Pynchon, Goethe, or a brick wall?
What type of seducer are you?
What fairy tale cliche are you?
Are you a vampyre?
What's your Japanese subculture?
My results--->

What Type of Villain are You?

mutedfaith.com /
<º>

take the "are you thomas pynchon, goethe, or a brick wall?" test.


and go to mewing.net. weirder and weirder every day.

I am the Ideal Lover Most people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. They find themselves disappointed by people, events, reality, which cannot match their youthful ideals. Ideal Lovers thrive on people's broken dreams which become lifelong fantasies. You long for romance? Adventure? Lofty spiritual communion? The Ideal Lover reflects your fantasy. He or she is an artist creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitliess seductive power in following the path of the Ideal Lover. Symbol: The Portrait Painter. Under his eye, all of your physical imperfections disappear. He brings out noble qualities in you, frames you in a myth, makes you godlike, immortalises you. For his ability to create such fantasies, he is rewarded with great power.

What Type of Seducer are You?
created by polite_society

ungraded

If you like wasting time with quizzes, at least offer someone else the opportunity for productivity: take part in a wide selection of online psychological studies. How's your relationship with your father? How much do you procastinate? How aware are you of each body part? What's your relationship to personal email? "Is this Guy Funny, or What?"

(evil demon, fish-monster, or orb-holding alien)

Take an inkblot test.
Click below to read my results.

Nathalie, your unconscious mind is driven most by Imagination
This means you have a deep desire to use innovative ideas to enhance your life and influence the world around you. This drive influences you far more than you may realize on a conscious level.
Your need to be innovative drives how you look at new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in life you choose to have. On an unconscious level, the reason you may be so driven by imagination is your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation. When you are unable to create due to restrictions imposed by your environment or even ones you unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped or confined? You may find these feelings of unease only get better when you find another outlet for your imagination.
With such a strong creative orientation, you are willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place because you can contribute new ideas to any experience. Your natural curiosity inspires those around you and encourages them to come up with ideas they wouldn't have thought of without your help.

your eyes don't lie

According to my face perception test results, I prefer extroverted men. Wtf? But the test is fun; I'm going to pretend I'm a male and take it again.

b/c i'm lazy

Take the What Should Your New Year's Resolution Be? Quiz

Are you a survivor?

What obscure band are you?

Who are you?

Meta-procastination: test your studying habits ("Abiator's Online Learning Styles Inventory").

Take the Proust Quiz.

The Disinformation Quiz. "Everything you know is wrong."

stolen from Metafilteró
Could you have passed the 8th grade in 1895?
Would you have been accepted to college in the 1930's?

Whoa, this quiz is fucked-up.

>Hello !!

>I came across this great page which predicts your future Love and Sex life with the help of a set of advanced
>mathematical calculations based on the concept of human psychology. It is extremely accurate as long as
>you have answered the set of 15 questions honestly and seriously. This award winning website was
>developed by a group of renowned psychologists. Even if you're still skeptical, just go ahead and try it for
>yourself, after all, you have nothing to lose!

>Hint: You won't regret this!

>Click on the link below, and remember, be honest!
http://www.crush007.com/love.cgi?id=1032200584gic

This link's been popular lately: a 5 minute IQ test. Tell me how you do, and I'll return the favor.

a repeat post: the personal identity game.

The Are You a True European? quiz.

Excerpt:

1. You are walking along the pavement when a rather attractive looking young woman passes by. Do you:

a. Look away modestly, perhaps blushing slightly.
b. Smile and maybe say "Hello".
c. Smear a whole tub of grease all over your head, pinch her bottom then proceed to follow her around for half an hour, together with 20 of your friends, all riding pathetic little scooters, making a variety of crude and suggestive remarks.

an educational distraction: Are You a Superhero?, provided by the BBC.

For those of you who like quizzes:

• What era are you?
  
• Which angel would you be?
  
• Which fairytale character are you?
  
• Which mythical beast are you?
  
• Which John Cusack character are you?
  
• What Peanuts character are you?
  
• What are your personality disorders?
  

What kind of villain are you? (I'm the evil genius.) link swiped from #!/usr/bin/girl

Finally, a useful quiz. "Are you psychic?"

"Even if YOU don't know what faith you are, Belief-O-Matic knows. Answer 20 questions about your concept of God, the afterlife, human nature, and more, and Belief-O-Matic will tell you what religion (if any) you practice...or ought to consider practicing." My top 8: 1.Ý Unitarian Universalism (100%) 2.Ý Secular Humanism (98%) 3.Ý Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (87%) 4.Ý Liberal Quakers (85%) 5.Ý Nontheist (79%) 6.Ý Neo-Pagan (65%) 7.Ý Theravada Buddhism (62%) 8.Ý Bah·'Ì Faith (50%)

I also took the What Type Are You? quiz off the same site I previously linked to. My results: Hopeless Romantic. I shouldn't have dropped my thesis.

a little quiz before bed.

a little quiz before bed. "Ever wonder what your personality might taste like? We did."

I'm addicted to this little

I'm addicted to this little philosophy quiz. I want to get my correct-answer-to-questions ratio above 0.70. So far, I've taken the quiz twice, with scores around 0.50. (Take it, and tell me how you do.)

quizzes for Joshua Martinez-Nelson: Which

quizzes for Joshua Martinez-Nelson:

Which Kiss Are You?

Find your emotion!