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USA Today profiles Coke's latest, Orwellian, "sweepstakes" technology:
Consumers who find the winning cans activate the technology to call a pre-programmed hotline. They then must agree that Coke "search teams," using the GPS tracker, can surprise them anyplace, anytime up to three weeks to deliver the prizes, which include a 2005 Chevy Equinox SUV, a chance on $1 million through Harrah's Casino, Disney vacations and home entertainment systems.The technology tracks cans to within about 50 feet anywhere in America, and winners must carry the cans at all times until one of five prize teams around the country shows up to exchange the prize for the can. "It's all about the surprise," Schiller says…
…A sweepstakes ad begins May 17. In it, two teens at a summer job are caught making out in a storeroom. A Coke team in helicopters and CIA-looking vehicles delivers an Equinox to the guy, who had his Coke can at his side while nuzzling his co-worker.
A friend from Brown just sent me a link to this ridiculous, but true, Boston Globe article:
Ivy chic? Try Brown"Snazzy" is such a Harvard word. But the Brown girls pictured in this article look putrid.Providence campus wins plaudits for its hip couture
Harvard may have the most money, and Yale corners the market on presidential contenders, but students at Brown University can hold their heads high: They've got the best outfits, according to Women's Wear Daily, the fashion industry bible.
The publication, based in New York City and known to style-minded readers as WWD, ranked the fashion savvy of the eight Ivy League campuses in its annual college issue last week. The results turned the Ivy universe topsy-turvy, with Brown on top, followed by Columbia and Cornell, Princeton in the middle, and Harvard and Yale stuck in the bottom spots on the list.
"It's a rare situation in which a Harvard student isn't at the head of the class," the magazine opined. "But when it comes to matters of personal expression and style, these Cambridge smarties are strictly conservative prep."
Harvard students may write dazzling papers, but their wardrobes are less imaginative, with boring brown loafers, pressed jeans, and barn jackets in heavy rotation, according to WWD. The fashion editors were more impressed on their visit to Providence, where Brown students won high marks for creativity, attributed in part to the close proximity of the Rhode Island School of Design. At Brown, looks on campus range from "downtown New York hipster" to "stiletto-clad sophisticates" and "patchworked bohemians."
News of their victory in the rankings was slow to reach Brown students, with copies of WWD hard to track down in local bookstores. Told about the outcome, few students took the findings very seriously. But neither did they object to beating Harvard -- no matter how vapid the contest.
"It's a silly competition, but we'll take our school pride where we can get it," said Jesse Finkelstein, a senior at Brown, where stylish alumni include John F. Kennedy Jr. and Alex von Furstenberg, son of fashion designer Diane.
Harvard Undergraduate Council president Matthew Mahan defended his school yesterday against the charges of frumpiness. Because winters are so harsh in Cambridge, students "have their overcoats on half the year," giving an edge to campuses in the milder climes of New York and Rhode Island, he said.
"I wish you could see me today," Mahan lamented in a phone interview. "I've got a suit on, with a really snazzy tie."
Jannemiek Sonneveld, 27, turns her left eye to show the latest thing in body fashion, the Jewel Eye, in her hometown Driebergen, the Netherlands April 7, 2004. The eye jewel, made of platinum and available in the shape of a heart, a star or circle, is implanted under the cornea of the eye and is not visible unless the eye is turned. The procedure costs 500 euros.
Today's Word.A.Day is resistentialism:
resistentialism (ri-zis-TEN-shul-iz-um) nounRelated: Paranoia, the blog.The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior against us.
If you ever get a feeling that the photocopy machine can sense when you're tense, short of time, need a document copied before an important meeting, and right then it decides to take a break, you're not alone. Now you know the word for it. Here's a report of scientific experiments confirming the validity of this theory: http://www.uefap.co.uk/writing/exercise/report/clatri.htm
My question: Do they look that way because they're not getting any, or are they not getting any because they look that way?
Or, am I missing the point?
In NY Magazine: "A Dying Trend: Suicide as a Fad"
In the NY Times: "New Way for Teenagers to See if They Bounce"
courtesy of the Onion:
-Remember, online dating is not for everyone—only the desperate and pathetic.-Dates like to know that they're appreciated. Go the extra mile and send that special someone an e-card or virtual flowers.
-For best results, try whichever dating service happens to be advertised to the right or left of this chart.
-If you decide to break up with your online mate, for God's sake, have the decency to do it over the phone.
-If you're a man who prefers younger women, but you only seem to get responses from older women, take heart: Older women can give birth to younger women.
Brian Price writes on the experience of preparing inmates' last meals for Legal Affairs:
Buxton, the 38th prisoner executed in Texas since the reinstatement of the death penalty in 1982, had been sentenced to death for killing a supermarket customer in the course of a robbery. For his last meal, he requested filet mignon, pineapple upside-down cake, fruit punch, tea, and coffee. I hadn't had much experience cooking steaks but it was important to me to give Buxton the last meal he wanted. To my surprise, the kitchen provided me with a T-bone steak in place of Buxton's preferred filet mignon. I had always thought that condemned inmates received exactly what they requested for their very last meal on earth. But I did the best I could, grilling the steak to well done and arranging the items on Buxton's dinner tray, which I wrapped in plastic and covered with butcher paper to keep warm. When my task was completed, I prayed over the meal.I found the essay moving, but less so when I learned it's an excerpt from Price's forthcoming book, called Meals to Die For. Just because irony is possible, doesn't mean it's advisible.
Later, as the hour for Buxton's execution approached, I found myself wondering whether or not he liked his meal. Though I'd never met Buxton and knew little about him, I felt a sympathetic bond to this man as his life drew to a close. The next day, my emotions were compounded when I was told by my supervisor that Buxton had sent a message of thanks to me through the prison chaplain. Buxton had said that he enjoyed his meal and appreciated the care that went into its preparation. After that cold February day, I volunteered to cook all of death row's last meals.
Yesterday, Gawker posted a short quote from Peter Carlson's Washington Post article on the new "catazine" Cargo:
Cargo might be the worst idea for a magazine in human history. It's certainly the worst idea for a magazine since December 2000, when Conde Nast launched Lucky, a shopping magazine for women.What's more insulting, of course, is the idea that Carlson wants us to read the articles in women's magazines. But my favorite line in the piece goes like this: Each non-purchase of Cargo will "strike a blow against … the wimpification of America -- while at the same time showing that men are less shallow than women." Because, men, if you don't strike a blow, wimpification will attack you. And, the deeper you are, the more you realize one's depth is measured solely by the interest one takes in clothes and surpassing women.
The apparent idea behind Lucky was simple: Women are too dumb to read magazine articles. They just want to look at pictures of shoes and makeup and handbags and hairdos. The idea was profoundly insulting to women, and women responded by enthusiastically embracing Lucky, which now sells 900,000 copies a month.
If you are pregnant is the Atkins Diet okay?
Tara
Greenville, Texas
On a whim, I bought Marie Claire while waiting for a train at Penn Station. A couple years ago, I swore off women's mags, but I had (and have) a cold, and my other reading option was The Magic Mountain, which I suspect may be for the sick what Macbeth is for actors: a curse of mimesis, an infectuous story.
But TB isn't as evil, as unhealthy, as bloody awful, as Marie Claire, especially Marie Claire, "The Body Issue." In her monthly column, editor Lesley Jane Seymour reflects on the April issue's theme: "In high school I felt like an outsider, 'dieting' to gain weight -- guzzling cans of disgusting weight-gain liquids hoping they might make me look less like a boy. So the truth is, no one escapes 'the body issue.'" In other words: "While, in earlier issues, we've tried to suppress only fat women's self-esteem, we now recognize the economical short-sightedness of our strategy. This issue proves no body type is immune to criticism, because Marie Claire believes in equality; fat or thin, you're all in dire need of doubt and self-improvement possibilities."
And Marie Claire isn't only introducing new body types to be ashamed of. It's also introducing new body parts. For ex., on p. 222: "If your nipples are pale, make them rosier with a lip and cheek stain." And, body parts may be wrong in ways you haven't previously considered. Page 78: "Does your hair make you look fat?" One way to change that: "Stop straightening." "'Pin-straight hair might as well be pointing down to your hips,' says [hair stylist] Brocato. If your hair is extremely flat, your body will look bigger by comparison." The companion "before & after" pics show Jessica Simpson with straight hair, in a baggy, off-the-shoulder shirt, and then with wavy hair, in a skin-tight tank. The captions: "thin" and "thinner." (Thin is for losers. But you can never be too thinner.)
These complaints probably aren't original. I don't care. A different object of complaint pertaining to MC: the wheeled-in Ph.D., always a professor of psychology and author of a best-seller. In the case of Judy Kurlansky on p.140, the best-seller is The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating. And Kurlansky's MC-assigned subject: "why we love cradle-robbing celebs."
Celebrities -- with their looks, money, and power -- can clearly date whomever they want. So why all the recent fuss over star couples with a decade or more between them? It's because women are suddenly the ones raiding the nursery, says Judy Kurlansky, Ph.D. "The older male celebrity is a cliché," she explains. "But now that Demi Moore has turned the tables, younger, hipper celebrity women [think Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow] are following in her path."Right, because trends dictate our life partners. If not: they should. Continuing:
The payoff for us mortals? The trend gives us permission to date outside our decade, too. According to the AARP, one-third of unmarried women in their 40s to 60s are dating younger guys.Well, hell, according to Jerry Springer, that "path" was cleared long before Demi by a caravan of mobile homes.
But MC is a little behind the times; take, for ex., its "Women to Watch" feature, which introduces readers to "stars-in-the-making." Among the stars who haven't made it yet, according to MC: actress Rosario Dawson, singer Ashanti, director Sofia Coppola, and the under-publicized Keira Knightly. I assume that means, for the time being, they're still mortal. But--hey you, Keira! Question: why be thin, when you can be thinner?
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Related: lines I read while composing this post.
-"Compared to Mann's masterpiece, War and Peace is like the soap that runs down the crack of your butt in the shower." (source)
-"After her surgery [for her 'cross-eyed condition'] Demi used her looks to earn some money modeling in Europe (after dropping out of high school), and put her now trademark raspy voice to work as a collection agent." (source)
George Washington Bridge – Not a good choice. Sure, it's high up and it'll do the trick (you'll probably black out before you even hit the water) but it's also possible you'll end up on the New Jersey side of the river. It's bad enough to kill yourself. But it's only worse if it takes place in New Jersey. And you'll probably end up at the morgue in Fort Lee which is uncool and will require friends and family to travel to claim your remains.New Yorkish explains NYC suicide etiquette.
Some captions to start it off:
[take a] hit and run
why you shouldn't take the high road
(image via grow a bain's links stash)
WINTER HAVEN, Fla. (AP) -- A dispute at the salad bar turned into a food fracas at an upscale retirement home, with a man taking a bite out of another's arm and other residents suffering minor injuries.Police said resident Lee Thoss, 62, of the Spring Haven Retirement Community was picking through the lettuce, which disgusted 86-year-old William Hocker, who was standing in line behind him…
…Thoss' mother, Arlene, in her 80s and also a Spring Haven resident, jumped in to break up the fight and ended up with a cut arm. Harry Griffin, 92, was standing at the salad bar and cut his head when he was knocked to the ground. [more>]
From the Hudson Valley Sudbury School FAQs (via Mefi):
Where will the school be located?We are in the process of building our permanent building on our land which is located on 67 acres in Woodstock.
Does the school offer a high school diploma?
Students who wish a diploma must prepare and defend a thesis. The thesis must explain how the student has taken responsibility for preparing him/her self to be an effective adult in the larger community. Experience at other Sudbury schools throughout the country have shown that this diploma is acceptable for entry into college.
How do students get into college?
Largely through the interview process. The students demonstrate their maturity, their ability to express themselves, their persistence and their passion. They are exceptionally clear about their desires. Most colleges are looking for those students who stand out and Sudbury students are definitely unique. Some students choose to study for and take the SATs.
Do you have any real teachers?
The teachers, or staff members as we refer to them, are not necessarily certified. The qualifications for staff members at the school are life experience, the ability to work with kids of all ages, sharing their knowledge and areas of expertise, the ability to model healthy and appropriate behavior, mentor students, and of course, to understand and commit to the philosophy of the school. We believe that the ability to successfully work with students of all ages is of utmost importance.
What happens if a student doesn't do anything?
It is actually impossible to do nothing. I think what most people are concerned about is students doing what looks like nothing; for example playing video games, playing magic cards, reading all day, etc. The truth is that everything the students do has value. Take video games for example; this "teaches" reading skills, social skills, the ability to concentrate and focus, and, depending on the game, history, strategy, math or science.
How does a student learn an "unusual" subject?
There is a good example of this in the Sudbury Valley School literature. It talks about a student that knew from an early age that he wanted to be a mortician. What they did was to help the student learn as much chemistry and biology as they could and then they found the student a mentor. The mentor was a pathologist in the area who agreed to allow the student to watch and learn - basically to act as an apprentice. By the age of 17 the student was helping perform autopsies. He was a mortician at age 21.
My child has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD; what about him or her?
Experience at other Sudbury model schools indicates that this is not a problem. They find that when children are allowed to expend their excess energy through play, they can then focus. According to John Holt in "Learning All the Time", there has been research done by specialists in the area of learning disabilities that links so-called perceptual handicaps with stress. The research showed that when students with supposedly severe learning disabilities were put in a relatively stress free situation, their disabilities soon vanished.
Some of the things that bother me about this:
1. Woodstock.
2. Colleges don't give a shit about interviews.
3. the words "not necessarily" coupled with "certified"
4. "magic cards" in the same paragraph as "social skills"
5. kids knowing what morticians are at an early age
6. no one talking kids out of being morticians
7. commas outside quotation marks in a sentence addressing learning disabilities
Why is PETA wasting time protesting the tastiness of cow bits when there's shoes like these, giving antisocial boys all kinds of new ideas?
If you could attend one cultural event, highbrow or lowbrow, that's taking place this summer, what would it be?
From "The Moment in Fashion: Eccentric":
The woman [Robert Burke, the fashion director of Bergdorf Goodman] had in mind is one who does not mind raising eyebrows, even relishes the thought. At a time when movie stars employ battalions of stylists to help achieve a bland perfection that passes for good taste — an exception, Ms. Nickerson said, being the singer Bjork — such eccentricity is rare……"I really wish they would banish the red carpet," [Nickerson] said. "When a person insists on being photographed looking glamorous but conventional, it kills experimentation, and fashion cannot move forward."
The skin has already been cut for us, a neat bloodless line across the base of the neck and another straight down the chest to the top of the abdomen. The students opposite me put their gloved fingers into the cut and pick up their side of chest and fold it back. The dermal layer is as thick as a slender paperback, and, without blood, the same beige as old paper. It sits neatly folded over the cadaver's arm as though he'd slung it there himself.
At first, it seems liberating to have your sympathies split between two very different heroines. But eventually it becomes clear that the twins thing reinforces the principle lesson of these kind of novels: personalities are fixed, and you are either one kind of girl or the other; there is no room for ambiguity. Thus you can be either sincere or manipulative; earnest or playful; dependable or flighty; a hard worker or a party girl.
Who is his best friend? He laughs derisively, 'My best friend? At the age of 43? My credit card!' Not even a cat? 'No. My best friend is myself. I look after myself very, very well. I can rely on myself never to let myself down. I'm the last person I want to see at night and the first in the morning. I am endlessly fascinating - at eight o clock at night, at midnight, I'm fascinated. It's a lifelong relationship and divorce will never come into it. That's why, as I say, I feel privileged. And that is an honest reply.'
You'd think I'd be more popular.
"It's rare for sisters to be so close, like best — " Lindsay had almost completed her thought when Ali broke in."Nobody is lacking," she started to say.
"At least nobody is a nerd," Jessica concluded triumphantly.
Certainly not. The triplets were home that night from new jobs — Jessica works for Sola, a fashion accessories showroom, Lindsay for the clothing store Intermix, and Ali is a page at "The Late Show With David Letterman." They are well into their second month in the apartment, the search for which sounds like the pitch for a new reality television show: Can triplets, a boyfriend or two, and their parents find the perfect apartment?
"It had to have three bedrooms, three bathrooms, pass the lobby and hall test — Ali and Lindsay had a thing about lobbies and halls — and not be on a two-way street, because Lindsay doesn't like two-way streets," said Doug Kenner, a rental and sales broker at Citi Habitats. "It had to have a doorman, rent for around $4,000 and be in a building that would accept guarantors. From the first showing, which Jessica liked but Lindsay didn't, I realized I had a fun group."
Slate's Explainer answers the question, "With prices for a dress running from $15,000 to over $100,000, how do designers make money selling haute couture?"
Ironically, many people will buy a $150 bottle of perfume to participate in the lifestyle suggested by the $15,000 couture dress they cannot afford, while in reality the dress was produced in large part to seduce them into paying too much for the perfume.
Calvin and Hobbes Snow Art Gallery!
[caution: it's an angelfire site.]
I hate linking to any article that uses the phrase "angst-ridden," but here's an update, or non-update (downdate?) on Spalding Gray. It also provides more information on his depression and treatment:
Gray - a manic depressive who has twice attempted suicide - had tried jumping off a ferry in September but was stopped by a friend, sources said.Gray was last heard from around 9 p.m. Saturday, when he called his TriBeCa loft and spoke to 5-year-old son Theo "and said he just wanted to say he loved him," Newman said.
Gray's disappearance has taken his wife by surprise because the worst of his depression seemed to be over, Newman said.
"He was in comparatively good spirits, all the signs were good," she said. "His therapist said he was doing better. He was looking forward to things for the first time in a long time."
Last week, I mentioned Spalding Gray's depression and shock therapy. Today, he's been reported in the NY Times as missing.
Choire writes, "If you see a slightly deranged-looking older man ranting on the streets of Soho, please don't throw nickels at him; society wants this one back."
The New Year's begun, and now's the time for resolutions, predictions, and recollections. But, most importantly: recollections of predictions. January 2004 brings, along with the beginning of another year's monotony, the first opportunity to safely review the accuracy of psychics' public predictions for 2003. Were the predictions an accurate representation of 2003, in spirit if not in fact, or were they a time capsule for the sickening brain phlegm of 2002?
Aiming for a cogent and organized review, I've sorted 200-plus predictions into one of five (a posteriori) categories: "unjustfiably obvious," "that's not even a prediction!", "completely wrong," "prone to gross misinterpretation by an idiot," and "I guess that happened, huh."
I collected the predictions from six widely esteemed psychics: Nikki, "Psychic to the Stars," who, impressively, telegraphed all predictions from the 1984 set of Desperately Seeking Susan; Craig Hamilton-Parker; Starr Fuentes, who holds "59 certifications" and is "Bishop of the Diving Intervention Congregation," ruining fun at public pools worldwide; Patricia McLaine, provider of "incredibly accurate intuitive insights"; Lynda Doyle; and Cynthia Hart.
the unjustifiably obvious predictions:
Nikki provided a good example of this type of prediction when she wrote, "ANNA NICOLE SMITH, DOWNWARD TREND." Also in 2003: “A LOT OF GLOOM AND DOOM AROUND WORLD AFFAIRS.”
Starr Fuentes predicted, “[In 2003,] Space offers up new discoveries.” Remember 2002, when Space was such a prude?
But it was up to Patricia to perfect this genre with a return to the semantic tautology: “STARTLING DISCOVERIES astound.” Also from Patricia: “SCANDAL in HIGH PLACES fills the HEADLINES” and “A HOLLYWOOD COUPLE SPLITS, surprise is the name of the game.”
Meanwhile, Cynthia Hart looked into the heart and soul of technology: “Cell phones will change, phone systems will change… Even satellite T V will change. But the good news is we will survive.”
that's not even a prediction! predictions:
Sometimes, a psychic's prediction, through squinted eyes, looks a little like political commentary. Among Lynda Doyle’s precognitions:
-“Current USA President George Bush is doing a lot of harm to the
USA - he wants war at any cost.”
-“Current push by USA for war is about oil, not terrorism.”
-“Within the next 10 years, the USA will not be the power that they
think they are or have been.”
the completely wrong predictions:
When predicting events concerning films, it makes sense to consult imdb.com or any similar site.
At the end of 2002, Nikki wrote, "KEVIN COSTNER A COMEBACK WITH A WAR FILM AND A SPACE PICTURE." If she had consulted Costner's imdb.com profile, she would have seen that the actor was only starring in one 2003 feature, the Western Open Range, about "a corrupt sheriff and kingpin rancher." (Starr Fuente, on the other hand, wrote, "Katie Holmes in New Movie," which was correct.)
Other Nikki predictions:
-"REMAKE OF THE HINDENBERG - A LOT OF SPECIAL EFFECTS" (The last part of the prediction would, were the first part true, fall under "unjustfiably obvious.")
-"JENNIFER LOPEZ AND BEN AFFLECK MARRIED - PREGNANCY AROUND JENNIFER"
-"CLONING OF HUMAN BEINGS ON A LARGE SCALE"
-"SWARMS OF BEES COMING TO NORTH AMERICA" (Not again, again)
-"MICHELL PHIFFER - BE CAREFUL OF WATER" (Did someone confuse What Lies Beneath (2000) with a precognition?)
-"A HUMAN HEAD TRANSPLANT - THE FIRST RECIPIENT WILL PASS ON BUT THE SECOND WILL LIVE" (And did someone misread this 2002 article?)
predictions that are prone to gross misinterpretation by idiots:
Unlike the other psychics mentioned here, Patricia McLaine kept track of how her 2003 predictions fared throughout the year. In bold are her predictions. Following each prediction is a list of the articles that confirm the prediction.
LITERARY ACCLAIM is applauded in high places. 5/22 Drudge Report: AMAZON: HARRY POTTER FASTEST SELLER EVER: MORE THAN 500, 000 PRE-SOLD. I'm waiting for my copy! 6/21 Drudge Report: "Fifth Harry Potter Fastest Selling Book Ever." 6/22 AOL News: "Potter Books Fly Off Shelves Like Magic."
ACCIDENTAL DEATH of a GREAT MAN causes many to mourn. 4/17 AOL News: "Best Selling Diet Doctor, Atkins, Dies at 72, after falling and hitting his head."
STARTLING DISCOVERIES astound. DECEPTION comes to light that enlightens many. 5/20 CNN: "Thermage: The New Non-Surgical Facelift." 7/7 CNN: "Catch of the Day? Fangtooth, snotthead, goblin shrimp: Many of the known denizens of the deep look as bizarre as their names. The deep sea expedition may have discovered more than 100 new species." 7/16 Science Daily: "Biologist Find Unexpectedly Rapid Growth in Caribbean Lizards." "Obese Mice Provide Clues to a Natural System that Puts Brakes on Obesity." "Ibuprofen, Aspirin May Reduce Woman's Risk of Breast Cancer." 7/25 Drudge Report: "First Americans Arrived 18,000 Years Ago, Genetic Evidence Suggests." 8/14 AOL News: "New Dinosaur Discovered in India: Rajasaurus." 11/21 Science Daily: "New evidence Says Earth's Greatest Extinction Caused by Ancient Meteorite." 11/26 New Scientist: "Blood could generate body repair kit: regenerate damaged or diseased tissues." 11/29 AOL News: "DNA Proves Lindbergh Had Secret German Family: Genetic tests prove claims by three Germans that the American aviator Charles Lindbergh was their father and led a secret double life for almost two decades." 12/30 Science Daily: "Accelerated Global Warming From Nutrient Shortages for Trees and Soils." "Scientists Uncover Novel Role for Estrogen in Bone Marrow." "New Drug to Treat Enlarged Prostate Developed at University College London." 12/17 NY Times: "New Intel Chip for Digital TV Could Remake the Market."
SPECIAL DISCOVERIES or INVENTIONS emerge late OCTOBER to everyone’s amazement. 7/26 Science Daily: "Edible Food Wraps Can Keep Kids' Sandwiches Fresh and the Environment Cleaner." 7/29 Science Daily: "Music Instruction Aids Verbal Memory." 7/31 Drudge Report: "DNA Extractable from Fingerprints." 8/5 Science Daily: "Green Tea's Cancer Fighting Allure Becomes More Potent." 8/13 Science Daily: News Release: "Boost Your Brain Power: Creatine, a Compound Found in Muscle Tissue, Found to Increase Working Memory and General Intelligence." Physicsweb: "Lasers tackle radioactive waste." 8/14 AOL News: "Stair Climbing Wheelchair Gets FDA Approval." Drudge Report: "Cloning Yields Human-Rabbit Hybrid Embryo." Science Daily: "University of Central Florida Researchers Find that Nanomaterials Developed for Industry Triple of Quadruple Life of Brain Cells." 8/15 CNN: "FDA Approves Stair Climbing Wheelchair." 9/1 Science Daily: "New Fish Species Discovered in Venezuela." 9/3 ScienceDaily: "Mouse, Stripped of a Key Gene, Resists Diabetes." 9/4 Yahoo! News: "A Gut Hormone Could Help Treat Obesity." [my note: none of these articles were published in the second half of October]
I guess that happened, huh:
Craig Hamilton-Parker guessed correctly twice:
-"Even more pedophile cases revealed."
-"Cloning claims by sect proven to be false."
But the second guess is not impressive.
Lynda Doyle might be right or almost right on all counts. Included in her predictions (excerpted above):
-"Iraq doesn't have what USA is claiming they have in terms of weapons of mass destruction."
The most accurate psychic, with a 20 - 25% success rate, was Nikki. Among her predictions:
-"MORE PROBLEMS FOR MICHAEL JACKSON - MORE LAWSUITS"
-"ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER RUNNING FOR POLITICS"
-"HALLE BERRY SPLITTING FROM HUSBAND ERIC BENET"
-"GWENYTH PALTROW MARRYING"
-"TROUBLE BETWEEN LIZA MINELLI AND HUSBAND" (or, unjustifiably obvs?)
-"SEIGFREID AND ROY HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF A CRAZED TIGER"
-"DAVID BLAYNE WILL DO THE TORTURE CHAMBER FEAT LIKE HOUDINI" (close enough)
-"THERE WILL BE A SPACE TRAGEDY AROUND AN AMERICAN SPACE MISSION"
-JOHNNY CASH [will die]
-KATHERIN HEPBURN [will die]
-BOB HOPE [will die]
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Related on the web:
-Failed Psychic Predictions 2002
-Failed Psychic Predictions 1999
-Failed Psychic Predictions for 1998
-Failed Psychic Predictions 1997
-Failed Psychic Predictions 1996
-From the Las Vegas Review-Journal: "Every year, Emery buys supermarket tabloids and notes psychic predictions. At the end of the year, he writes about those that fail to come true. To date he hasn't come across a single accurate psychic, but that doesn't mean he has dismissed the possibility of one existing."
-Survivor 'Psychic' Predictions in TV Guide Revisited
-the Skeptic's Dictionary entry for precognition
-The Randi Paranormal Challenge: a standing offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove he or she has paranormal powers
-2004 predictions by Fred Fassett
-2004 predictions by Da Juana
-2004 predictions by Dianna Zinn (Bush will win)
-2004 predictions by Patricia McLaine (Dean will win)
-more predictions
I hope someone got fired.
In the NY Times Magazine this week: an article about online high schools. I was born ten years too late. But, I wonder, how do you get college recommendation letters? Or, friends?
(Not that you need friends when you have alcohol and internet access, but how do you get booze when you're under 18 and living at home?)
Japan SAQ (Seldom Asked Questions).
Excerpt:
Q. What is the origin of the Japanese superstition which says that if you cut your nails at night, you will die young?
A. This superstition has two versions. One says that if you cut your nails at night, you will die young (Yoru ni tsume o kiru to hayaji ni suru) and another that you won't be with your parents when they die (Yoru ni tsume o kiru to oya no shi ni me ni aenai), i.e. you will die before them. There are two reasons for these superstitions. One is that during the Edo period, cutting one's nails at night was dangerous because of the lack of light. The second reason is that the Japanese word 'Yotsume' (cutting your nails at night) sounds like 'Yo o tsumeru' which means to cut short a life.
I've often tried to explain my deep disgust for fingernail polish (or, oh god, no, polished toenails), but I always fail. Either that signifies a real phobia, or my explanations just aren't long enough.
Today, I'll start with an archetypal cartoon image: the ugly alien girl. Stout, green, lots of warts. Her brain-sucking lips are painted red. Where there should be hair, the top of her head splits into five wiggly green appendages. On some of these appendages, she's attached girly, flouncy ribbons.
The visual joke is that the more the alien tries to pretty herself up, the more her looks become obscene. In my opinion, nail polish is the human equivalent of ribbons in alien hair. If an alien were to visit us, he'd wonder why women (and sometimes men) draw attention to the dead hard shells that erupt from soft flesh. And maybe our fingers would look like tentacle-hair: the cohesive aesthetic of arms and hands suddenly interrupted by ten stiff snakes.
Of course, at least most people trim their nails:
-Andrea on Lena and Terry's long nails
-short video (mpg) of nails
-(implicitly? explicitly) sexual animated gif
-These guys, unfortunately, seem to be getting some.
*-This guy's got problems
Also: a new invention. Digital nail color.
Remember reading the statistic that (making up the numbers here) 60% of men, by the age of 18, have lost their virginity, compared to 45% of women? And then you think, huh, I guess that 45% got around?
Well, I've noticed that 95% of brothers-in-law are investment bankers or stockbrokers or some other kind of MBA-certified asshole. Given that these professions only make up, um, 5% (sound about right?) of the country's jobs, we must infer our brothers-in-law are polygamists.
But what's more offensive? Their polygamy, or their mangling of the English language?
"Anyway I quit writing spam headers when it became clear that Josh didn’t appreciate my work."
According to Catharine, a comp. lit grad student at Princeton, Princeton undergrads have an annual tradition called "State Day." On "State Day," they dress up like students at public universities.
I tried to find more information online and in the archives of Princeton's newspapers, but they wisely don't report on it. Does anybody know more about this?
Every year, Finland hosts the Sauna World Championships.
The rules are strict:
The competitors will have to sit in the sauna with buttocks and thighs on the seat. Posture must be erect; elbows must stay on the knees and arms have to be in an upright position. Touching skin with hand is forbidden.
The organizers will take care of the steam (=throwing water on the stove); temperature 100-110oC, in every 30 seconds approximately half a liter of water will be thrown on the stove.
Thanks for the link goes to Sam.
Wayne Joseph "is of Creole stock and is therefore on the lighter end of the black color spectrum… And like most other black folk, Joseph grew up with an unequivocal sense of his heritage and of himself." So, "when Joseph decided on a whim to take a new ethnic DNA test he saw described on a 60 Minutes segment last year, it was only to indulge a casual curiosity about the exact percentage of black blood; virtually all black Americans are mixed with something, he knew, but he figured it would be interesting to make himself a guinea pig for this new testing process." But the test results were staggering.
link via mefi
Once in a while, I buy a magazine that doesn't really include me in its demographic. I like the obsessive insulation of niche markets: doll collecting, cosmetic surgery, wedding planning. So, yesterday, wanting to buy a magazine but already having subscriptions to most of the ones I read, I bought, on a whim, Modern Bride.
There are some things I’ve always defined my personality in opposition to: Los Angeles, feet, the Olive Garden (rated Iowa City’s best Italian restaurant), and big white weddings. I idolize the efficiency and privacy of city hall. ("The most important day in a girl's life"? That’s the day I win the Pulitzer, National Book Award, Nobel, etc.)
But I do have respect for any attention to detail, especially in the realm of clothing (in this case, bridal gowns) and food (the reception dinner). I didn’t really plan on making fun of the magazine’s enthusiasms, but I also didn’t expect the enthusiasms to be so tacky and indulgent.
For example, Modern Bride rounds up a "collection of the best star-powered weddings from 2000 and beyond." (Beyond? Can they see into the future?) "To make it onto our list, these girls had to be 100% 'modern brides.'" Here’s an excerpt from the list:
Jennifer Aniston
Why She’s a Modern Bride:
Before tying the knot, Jennifer and Brad went to a Beverly Hills salon to get matching highlights in their hair.
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Why She’s a Modern Bride:
She went all out for her vision. Rolling hills at New York’s Plaza Hotel? No problem. She had actual sod installed on the floor.
Kate Hudson
Why She’s a Modern Bride:
Kate’s nuptials had an unusual spiritual element. A Ute shaman conducted the ceremony, which took place in a tent lit by fire.
Kristi Yamuguchi
Why She’s a Modern Bride:
Kristi’s satin Vera Wang gown was embellished with the couple’s initials on the back.
At Slate, Seth Stevenson is reporting on one Japanese cliché a day. From Monday's column on "Wacky Food":
It seems that in some restaurants, they will put live baby eels in a large bowl of water with a big block of tofu at the bottom. The bowl is heated, and as they become uncomfortably hot, the baby eels burrow down into the cooler tofu. There they are cooked alive, and served like an olive loaf.
The Atlantic Monthly, competing against U.S. News and World Report, has introduced its own ranking of U.S. colleges. Brown finally cracks the top ten!
I don't usually post NSFW content, but I know many of my readers admire Monica Bellucci, and I believe in promoting the beauty of brunettes. Especially curly-haired ones who smoke.
Lately, I've seen lots of blogs linking to Nerve's Unsexy List, and dismissively thought they were linking to the so-last-month Sexiest Unsexiest list. But I was wrong. The Unsexy List (fifty gential-retracting people, places, and things) is better, bigger, and better; subjects include tannings beds, Denise Richards, teenagers, and LiveJournal.
Could you have sex with her? Get to know her at a party? Fall in love with her? Buy her drinks after work? Mistake her for a maid-android, a slutty student, a girl with oily skin or cheap foundation? Get in on a threesome? Introduce her to your children as their new mommy? Dream of her at night?
More, more, more.
A True Mirror does not reverse images. That is, if you hold writing up to it, you can read what the writing says. In it, you see yourself as you really are. It is something few people have ever seen before… …The introspective use of the True Mirror can be an important boost towards your own self-acceptance and greater self-esteem. This happens by authenticating your own actual image and expressions as you exist in real life, and as your are seen by everyone else. The incorrect view of yourself you see in a traditional mirror can be major source of self-doubt and self-criticism - simply because it is not the "real you" when your eyes meet in the mirror. How can you understand yourself when there is such distortion?If you're in NYC, you can check out the "real you" at the the True Mirror gallery on 43 E. First St. You can also buy one for about $150, but, really, how can you put a price on authentic self-acceptance?
Given that the "distortion" that normal mirrors display is dependent on facial assymetry, and symmetry is often thought of as the golden standard for hotness, I can't help but think that True Mirrors were created by and for the ugly.
(One related article abstract -- on how the right side of women's faces is often more attractive than the left -- is note-worthy for its great title: She is not a beauty even when she smiles: Possible evolutionary basis for a relationship between facial attractiveness and hemispheric specialization.)
*Update: Sam informs me that there's a True Mirror in the bathroom at the Pink Pony on the LES. "It was disturbing. I wouldn't recommend it," he says. You come out "with a horribly diminished sense of your own attractiveness. One of my eyes was the wrong size. It's like looking at a word in reverse. . . totally absurd." So, if you're hoping that your new true self will be more acceptable and pretty (the True Mirror boosts "self-acceptance" and "self-esteem"), consider this option instead.
The Psychic Kids Homepage is "in loving service to intuitive, spiritually-awakened, profoundly aware, clairvoyant, clairsentient, multi-sensory & multi-dimensional children, i.e. Psychic Children, Star Kids, Rainbow, Crystalline, Blue Ray, Indigo children and ALL people of all Soul Rays!" Send your kids to Intuitive Camp (no, not the title of a Ben Marcus story), and learn the secrets of Meta-Parenting.
Hoping to make large classes more interactive, a growing number of professors on large campuses are requiring students to buy wireless, handheld transmitters that give teachers instant feedback on whether they understand the lesson -- or whether they're even there. [more>]
Toe-shortening surgery may sound a bit macabre to the average pump-wearer, but it's not an original idea. According to the unsanitized Grimm Brothers fairy tale, Cinderella's stepsisters hacked off pieces of their feet in attempts to fit into the famous slipper. Today's procedures are usually more successful. [more>]via spitting image
"I hope the ad helps to reveal the naked truth about the horrors that elephants in Thailand are forced to endure," says [model Imogen] Bailey.
link via spitting image
-In response to an online poll, Lifesavers is eliminating the citrus flavors lime, orange, and lemon in its classic roll, and keeping pineapple and cherry. Wha?—who doesn't like orange? And what idiots like bathing their tongues in the cough syrup juice of cherry? According to the linked article, "The change is the first since the original five-flavor combination rolled out in 1935." (link via Girl Hacker)
In case you haven't been to the supermarket lately, Applejacks now contains blue carrots. "Actually, they look more like microwaved buffalo wings someone dropped behind the couch and forgot about for months," writes X-Entertainment. In case you were wondering about the taste, the new box reads, "No Apple Taste! No Carrot Taste!", recognizing the fact that 1. nobody really wants carrots in their cereal, and 2. morning tastebuds don't participate in the category of "the natural."
The Wacky Shack Shop and Museum specializes in flavored insects. Try the Larvets, Flavored Worm Snax: "They may not be wiggling but they still feel good in your mouth." Flavors include BBQ and Cheddar
Cheese.
Last night, Sam and I were trying to come up with gross food combinations. Here's some ones we didn't consider. I think our ideas were less juvenile; we quickly decided it wasn't playing fair to include fish.
>>>>>Question of the Day: What's the most disgusting food combination you've imagined? Best answer might get, you know, prizes.
And I thought religious sites for kids were bad. PETA tries to scare the young and weak into vegetarianism. ("When you order a fast-food burger or chicken nuggets, you may get more than you bargained for—like live bugs, deep-fried animal heads, and maybe some fresh urine to wash it all down.")
Mefi takes notice of the body sushi trend. It may arouse your appetite, or just leave leg hair in your teeth.
she was tired and decided to take the elevator instead of the stairs.
The New York City Police Department said a number of people were trapped in elevators. Thousands of people could be seen leaving buildings and walking into the streets. New York subways were reported stopped and people were trapped in the cars."We are going to have a situation where people are going to have to walk a long distance. They need to be careful," Bloomberg said. "Our advice is to go home, open up your windows, drink a lot of liquids." [more>]
When you say you got a vintage dress from the '50s, you mean the 1850s, right? VictorianElegance.com sells clothes, jewelry, and accessories from 1800 to the present.
Searching for a Gothic Lolita dress that I could actually wear, I came across a much stranger fashion niche: goth for babies. Among the items a loving parent can buy: black vinyl diapers, devil horn beanies, shirts, and rompers.
Or don't buy your own; throw your incoming a goth baby shower. Some example pictures: 1 2 3 4.
And, also: names for your goth baby.
Worse, says his wife, is a feeling that they suddenly have become outsiders. "My husband is a product of the French elite system. We're French citizens. We have lots of non-Jewish friends. But in just two minutes we were reduced to being Jews. [more>]
man hands…are these sites jokes? Probably not… Nab, you're just like me!…more quotes…I'm researching insects for my novel…nchicha.com coming attractions: a food-concerned website…Why is today's picture giving me the finger?…more thoughts on the Smiths.
Itchy robot recently linked to an amazing site: the Fellowship Baptist Creation Science Fair's write-up. Among the science fair winners:
"My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey."Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"
Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes."Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences shows that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.
Highlights from man's history and future, according to a 1970s Scientology handbook:
link via die puny humans
But after a few minutes, a couple cigarettes and several deep breaths, he sat in the basement of a storefront tattoo parlor, closed his eyes and let a friend split his tongue down the middle with a scalpel. The latest trend among teens and 20-somethings who indulge in so-called extreme body modification, forking one's tongue like a serpent's "is an art form," said T.J. McGillis, who offers the service for a $250 charge. [more>]
Maybe you can't afford designer clothes, but you can try them on.
PARENTS, WE OFFER YOUR CHILD THE FOLLOWING:
"THEIR ads are all over the subway - 'Skin Cola: Because Beautiful Clear Skin Begins from Within.'" But what is Skin Cola?
TRAFFIC SIGNS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
big heads are funny.
misshapen heads are funnier.
thinking outside the triangle:
the signification of "male" is not universal:
neither is common sensical graphical design:
Lockhart Steele links to superfuturecity and shares its map of my temp neighborhood (I'm at Ludlow, between Stanton and Rivington):
Kinda cool, though you could know all this from doing a ten-minute walk. (I'm up because I'm rolling off a 36-hr sugar high, courtesy of Economy Candy-- dead center on the map).
Victorian Suitability Rules:
Those with bright red hair and a florid complexion have an excitable temperment and should marry those with jet-black hair or a brunette.
The very fined hair, soft and delicate should not marry those like themselves.
The quick-motioned, rapid speaking person should marry the calm and deliberate type.
The warmly impulsive should unite with the stoical.
Those who don't fit into specific categories (not short nor tall, not brunette nor blond) who are more of an average type, may marry those who are similar in form to themselves.
-excerpted from The Language of Love, "a look at the code of etiquette that defined 19th-century courtships" (link via fiendish is the word)
I'm still collecting humanoid food imagery. Send me links.
There's an ad in Vice for a pair of sunglasses I want, but the ad doesn't include a brand name, only a small logo. Can anybody place it?
THE VICE GUIDE TO BEING TOTALLY CRUSHED OUT! Excerpt:
B: BORROWING Borrow a book or a movie just so you have the excuse to see him again, or even conveniently leave something like a sweatshirt at his house. This is a no-fail plan, because if he sees your sweatshirt lying around, he?ll have to think about you and be reminded of your charm (plus you left pheromones in it). Forced thinking is good, even though it?s commonly known as ?mind rape.? Of course, the plan backfires if you decide you don?t like him. Then you have the annoying burden of meeting up. You could then decide in a Zenlike way that it?s ?just a sweatshirt? and leave it as a relic for him to pine over forevermore. Mix tape: Billy Bragg, A New England
"Developed by Dr. Harold Edgerton in the 1940s, the Rapatronic photographic technique allowed very early times in a nuclear explosion's fireball growth to be recorded on film."
via the solipsistic gazette
my preferred pictures of lightning and tornadoes:
tornado links:
The Tornado Super Outbreak
Tornado Project Online
Tornado FAQ
Tornado Warnings (Iowa is expecting tornadoes tonight)
Tornado Chasers
lightning links:
track lightning across the US
the electrum project
lightning protection research programs
Lightning Kills, Play It Safe
Virginia Thunderstorms and Lightning
related entry, April 27, 2002
Everlasting Blort links (merci) to the Donley School menu, full of anthropomorphic food fun.
Last week, I argued that anthropomorphic food consists of an almost-paradox. We make food seem more human so we feel less guilty murdering it. I think the naivitee of these kids' drawings grasps, on some unconscious level, that tension. In drawing no. 1, the fruit is human and happy.
Then we slice it. The kid obviously feels its pain.
If vegetables are both human and food, then they can eat each other.
The idealism here is obviously ironic.
You can't split them apart = 'til shit do we part.
This one doesn't have anthropomorphic food, but why is the chef locked in the tree, where the stinging bees will soon return? Obviously, a commentary on the bloody murder of pigs or, as my boyfriend suggested, the French.
Here's a fun dancing chicken, also taken from the menu:
It wants to fly away, but its little wings are useless. It can only dance, hoping to distract you from killing it.
Do we really want to kill something that can dance?
Or, the real question is: don't we? The child artist, in her deep simplicity, understands that anthropomorphic food is simply food made human.
Related entry: we eat what we are, April 28, 2003
Give peace a chance.
Fark's current photoshop contest topic: popular sayings and idioms.
For Geoff, a mefi post: Designing a space colony?
One of the net's great untapped porn sources: before and after pics.
-before and after liposuction
-before and after buttocks implants
-before and after breast reductions
-before and after breast lifts
-before and after breast augmentations
-before and after breast asymmetry correction
-before and after penis enlargement
-before and after pec implants
-before and after face lifts
-before and after nose jobs
-before and after chin implants
-before and after botox
also:
-a good nose job
-facial feminization surgery
-Rhinoplasty (nose job) tutorial
AsciiRock links to a breakdown of Japanese subcultures. Among the groups:
-Uyoku, militant right-wingers: "At the Yasukuni Jinja (Peaceful Country Shrine) in Tokyo you can often see new Uyoku practising their slogan chanting, and see the evil black vehicles up close."
-Anti-Giants, anti-fans of the Giants baseball team: "'"I hate the Giants, and when they win I am filled with a sense of deep frustration and anger.'"
-Speed Tribes or Bosozoku, who ride "cars and scooters with their mufflers removed, disturbing the peace, defying authority, and engaging in acts of random violence."
-Hikikomori are "people who are young and physically healthy, but choose to spend their entire lives cut off from the rest of the world."
-Otaku, geeks: "There are even anime otaku who say that they have no interest in dating real women because no person can ever be as beautiful, kind, or wonderful as the character that appear in comics and animated films."
-Ganguro, girls in black face, and Yamanba, mountain witches: "Other causes of the trend are rebelliousness against the traditional aesthetic of pale-skinned beauty, and the desire to be shocking."
"While all news organizations prepare obituaries in advance of the deaths of famous individuals, the folks at CNN inadvertently gave the Internet-surfing public a chance to preview how the network's web site would note the demise of Vice President Dick Cheney, Ronald Reagan, and a few other prominent figures."
This is probably more interesting if, like me, you've recently seen Secretary and read Barthelme's "The Captured Woman."
A couple nights ago, deep into the early AM, I started thinking about tanning salons: how crazy it is that people lock themselves inside radiation-beds and sizzle in rows like hot dogs at a state fair. The radiation turns the skin's outer layer into a protective callous; a tan is nothing more than crust.
But, maybe even crazier than tanning beds are these things, facial tanning units. Look at the model's beautiful and authentic sun-blasted rash:
