The Lyttle Lytton Contest

"So in 2001 I started a contest much like the Bulwer-Lytton, only with entrants limited to 25 words." The task was "to write the first line of an imaginary novel." The goal was "to make it hilariously bad."
Some of this year's winners:

• Juicy, their love was like forbidden fruit: tasty.
  
• I know who the murderer is, Kevin blogged.
  
• My English teacher, Mrs. Robinson, always said to start in the middle of something interesting, so here's Peter encased in 50 cubic feet of Jell-O.
  
• While a hellish yowl tore my throat, the panicked kitten — in fact me — leapt crying for the throat of Julia, there seeking comfort — and revenge.