things i don't relate to

From a Nerve personal essay about being a baaaad girlfriend:

He thumbs through the New Yorker to some article about SUVs that he was telling me about earlier. He is the youngest person ever to have a subscription to the New Yorker. It's not normal.

Where's Nerve finding these personal essayists? Dude, if people are talking to me I won't even acknowledge them if they don't have a NYer subscription. So back to my first question: Appalachia? New Jersey?

And, from The Observer's engagement column:

But when he noticed the profile of the nubile, chestnut-haired Ms. Birns, his interest was piqued, and he composed a mash note about his love for music, etc. "He didn’t have any typos in his e-mail, so I figured he must have reread it and therefore really was interested," Ms. Birns said. Ah, millennial romance!

…The couple reached a major milestone when she got stuck at his apartment in Murray Hill during a February blizzard, sans makeup or deodorant. "I had nothing that could make a girl feel comfortable, and I realized with him, it didn’t matter," she said. She moved in for good shortly thereafter.…

…He proposed by a hot tub when they were vacationing in Puerto Rico, handing over a filigreed white-gold ring containing three square diamonds.

Amanda Birns, by the way, is 23. Mark Roth is 25. So, some comments. 1. People my age vacation? Seriously? 2. I often don't go out of my apartment for days at a time. My boyfriend would be lucky to expect a showered girlfriend during this time, let alone a made-up girlfriend with armpits fragrancing the room with baby powder. That shit's reserved for, like, date no. one. 3. I require a boyfriend who will make fun of people who write typos (unconscious stupidity! ha ha ha!), not one who simply doesn't make them. Fuckheads. Puerto Rico.

Posted by nchicha at February 5, 2004 01:15 PM