pre-cognitive

The New Year's begun, and now's the time for resolutions, predictions, and recollections. But, most importantly: recollections of predictions. January 2004 brings, along with the beginning of another year's monotony, the first opportunity to safely review the accuracy of psychics' public predictions for 2003. Were the predictions an accurate representation of 2003, in spirit if not in fact, or were they a time capsule for the sickening brain phlegm of 2002?

Aiming for a cogent and organized review, I've sorted 200-plus predictions into one of five (a posteriori) categories: "unjustfiably obvious," "that's not even a prediction!", "completely wrong," "prone to gross misinterpretation by an idiot," and "I guess that happened, huh."
I collected the predictions from six widely esteemed psychics: Nikki, "Psychic to the Stars," who, impressively, telegraphed all predictions from the 1984 set of Desperately Seeking Susan; Craig Hamilton-Parker; Starr Fuentes, who holds "59 certifications" and is "Bishop of the Diving Intervention Congregation," ruining fun at public pools worldwide; Patricia McLaine, provider of "incredibly accurate intuitive insights"; Lynda Doyle; and Cynthia Hart.

the unjustifiably obvious predictions:

Nikki provided a good example of this type of prediction when she wrote, "ANNA NICOLE SMITH, DOWNWARD TREND." Also in 2003: “A LOT OF GLOOM AND DOOM AROUND WORLD AFFAIRS.”

Starr Fuentes predicted, “[In 2003,] Space offers up new discoveries.” Remember 2002, when Space was such a prude?

But it was up to Patricia to perfect this genre with a return to the semantic tautology: “STARTLING DISCOVERIES astound.” Also from Patricia: “SCANDAL in HIGH PLACES fills the HEADLINES” and “A HOLLYWOOD COUPLE SPLITS, surprise is the name of the game.”

Meanwhile, Cynthia Hart looked into the heart and soul of technology: “Cell phones will change, phone systems will change… Even satellite T V will change. But the good news is we will survive.”

that's not even a prediction! predictions:

Sometimes, a psychic's prediction, through squinted eyes, looks a little like political commentary. Among Lynda Doyle’s precognitions:
-“Current USA President George Bush is doing a lot of harm to the
USA - he wants war at any cost.”
-“Current push by USA for war is about oil, not terrorism.”
-“Within the next 10 years, the USA will not be the power that they
think they are or have been.”

the completely wrong predictions:

When predicting events concerning films, it makes sense to consult imdb.com or any similar site.
At the end of 2002, Nikki wrote, "KEVIN COSTNER A COMEBACK WITH A WAR FILM AND A SPACE PICTURE." If she had consulted Costner's imdb.com profile, she would have seen that the actor was only starring in one 2003 feature, the Western Open Range, about "a corrupt sheriff and kingpin rancher." (Starr Fuente, on the other hand, wrote, "Katie Holmes in New Movie," which was correct.)
Other Nikki predictions:
-"REMAKE OF THE HINDENBERG - A LOT OF SPECIAL EFFECTS" (The last part of the prediction would, were the first part true, fall under "unjustfiably obvious.")
-"JENNIFER LOPEZ AND BEN AFFLECK MARRIED - PREGNANCY AROUND JENNIFER"
-"CLONING OF HUMAN BEINGS ON A LARGE SCALE"
-"SWARMS OF BEES COMING TO NORTH AMERICA" (Not again, again)
-"MICHELL PHIFFER - BE CAREFUL OF WATER" (Did someone confuse What Lies Beneath (2000) with a precognition?)
-"A HUMAN HEAD TRANSPLANT - THE FIRST RECIPIENT WILL PASS ON BUT THE SECOND WILL LIVE" (And did someone misread this 2002 article?)

predictions that are prone to gross misinterpretation by idiots:

Unlike the other psychics mentioned here, Patricia McLaine kept track of how her 2003 predictions fared throughout the year. In bold are her predictions. Following each prediction is a list of the articles that confirm the prediction.

LITERARY ACCLAIM is applauded in high places. 5/22 Drudge Report: AMAZON: HARRY POTTER FASTEST SELLER EVER: MORE THAN 500, 000 PRE-SOLD. I'm waiting for my copy! 6/21 Drudge Report: "Fifth Harry Potter Fastest Selling Book Ever." 6/22 AOL News: "Potter Books Fly Off Shelves Like Magic."
ACCIDENTAL DEATH of a GREAT MAN causes many to mourn. 4/17 AOL News: "Best Selling Diet Doctor, Atkins, Dies at 72, after falling and hitting his head."
STARTLING DISCOVERIES astound. DECEPTION comes to light that enlightens many. 5/20 CNN: "Thermage: The New Non-Surgical Facelift." 7/7 CNN: "Catch of the Day? Fangtooth, snotthead, goblin shrimp: Many of the known denizens of the deep look as bizarre as their names. The deep sea expedition may have discovered more than 100 new species." 7/16 Science Daily: "Biologist Find Unexpectedly Rapid Growth in Caribbean Lizards." "Obese Mice Provide Clues to a Natural System that Puts Brakes on Obesity." "Ibuprofen, Aspirin May Reduce Woman's Risk of Breast Cancer." 7/25 Drudge Report: "First Americans Arrived 18,000 Years Ago, Genetic Evidence Suggests." 8/14 AOL News: "New Dinosaur Discovered in India: Rajasaurus." 11/21 Science Daily: "New evidence Says Earth's Greatest Extinction Caused by Ancient Meteorite." 11/26 New Scientist: "Blood could generate body repair kit: regenerate damaged or diseased tissues." 11/29 AOL News: "DNA Proves Lindbergh Had Secret German Family: Genetic tests prove claims by three Germans that the American aviator Charles Lindbergh was their father and led a secret double life for almost two decades." 12/30 Science Daily: "Accelerated Global Warming From Nutrient Shortages for Trees and Soils." "Scientists Uncover Novel Role for Estrogen in Bone Marrow." "New Drug to Treat Enlarged Prostate Developed at University College London." 12/17 NY Times: "New Intel Chip for Digital TV Could Remake the Market."
SPECIAL DISCOVERIES or INVENTIONS emerge late OCTOBER to everyone’s amazement. 7/26 Science Daily: "Edible Food Wraps Can Keep Kids' Sandwiches Fresh and the Environment Cleaner." 7/29 Science Daily: "Music Instruction Aids Verbal Memory." 7/31 Drudge Report: "DNA Extractable from Fingerprints." 8/5 Science Daily: "Green Tea's Cancer Fighting Allure Becomes More Potent." 8/13 Science Daily: News Release: "Boost Your Brain Power: Creatine, a Compound Found in Muscle Tissue, Found to Increase Working Memory and General Intelligence." Physicsweb: "Lasers tackle radioactive waste." 8/14 AOL News: "Stair Climbing Wheelchair Gets FDA Approval." Drudge Report: "Cloning Yields Human-Rabbit Hybrid Embryo." Science Daily: "University of Central Florida Researchers Find that Nanomaterials Developed for Industry Triple of Quadruple Life of Brain Cells." 8/15 CNN: "FDA Approves Stair Climbing Wheelchair." 9/1 Science Daily: "New Fish Species Discovered in Venezuela." 9/3 ScienceDaily: "Mouse, Stripped of a Key Gene, Resists Diabetes." 9/4 Yahoo! News: "A Gut Hormone Could Help Treat Obesity." [my note: none of these articles were published in the second half of October]

I guess that happened, huh:

Craig Hamilton-Parker guessed correctly twice:
-"Even more pedophile cases revealed."
-"Cloning claims by sect proven to be false."
But the second guess is not impressive.

Lynda Doyle might be right or almost right on all counts. Included in her predictions (excerpted above):
-"Iraq doesn't have what USA is claiming they have in terms of weapons of mass destruction."

The most accurate psychic, with a 20 - 25% success rate, was Nikki. Among her predictions:
-"MORE PROBLEMS FOR MICHAEL JACKSON - MORE LAWSUITS"
-"ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER RUNNING FOR POLITICS"
-"HALLE BERRY SPLITTING FROM HUSBAND ERIC BENET"
-"GWENYTH PALTROW MARRYING"
-"TROUBLE BETWEEN LIZA MINELLI AND HUSBAND" (or, unjustifiably obvs?)
-"SEIGFREID AND ROY HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF A CRAZED TIGER"
-"DAVID BLAYNE WILL DO THE TORTURE CHAMBER FEAT LIKE HOUDINI" (close enough)
-"THERE WILL BE A SPACE TRAGEDY AROUND AN AMERICAN SPACE MISSION"
-JOHNNY CASH [will die]
-KATHERIN HEPBURN [will die]
-BOB HOPE [will die]

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Related on the web:
-Failed Psychic Predictions 2002
-Failed Psychic Predictions 1999
-Failed Psychic Predictions for 1998
-Failed Psychic Predictions 1997
-Failed Psychic Predictions 1996

-From the Las Vegas Review-Journal: "Every year, Emery buys supermarket tabloids and notes psychic predictions. At the end of the year, he writes about those that fail to come true. To date he hasn't come across a single accurate psychic, but that doesn't mean he has dismissed the possibility of one existing."
-Survivor 'Psychic' Predictions in TV Guide Revisited
-the Skeptic's Dictionary entry for precognition
-The Randi Paranormal Challenge: a standing offer of $1,000,000 to anyone who can prove he or she has paranormal powers

-2004 predictions by Fred Fassett
-2004 predictions by Da Juana
-2004 predictions by Dianna Zinn (Bush will win)
-2004 predictions by Patricia McLaine (Dean will win)
-more predictions

Posted by nchicha at January 4, 2004 04:57 AM