soulcatcher

According to the soulmate calculator, I'll have to meet 420,547 American single males between the ages of 18 and 45 before I can meet my mate.

Or, to speed up my search, I can put to use some of the site's dating advice. To increase my "meeting frequency/exposure," I should "give [my] lover framed pictures of [my]self and make him/her display them in his/her office." Or, "If [I am] stuck in an unwanted relationship, [I should] refer to [my] lover as 'a friend' when he/she is not with [me]."

The site, solvedating.com, assumes that dating, like a mathematical problem, can be solved -- as can love. Its author writes: "I have created a mathematical model that could predict and explain all human behavior pertaining to love." Click here for the mathematical model. Or, read pieces of its resulting manifesto:

"Men prefer women who are shorter than them. Women prefer men taller than them. [That] explains why men prefer younger women and women prefer older men."

"Very moody people will fall in love faster and more frequently. [That is the] reason why people use wine, scented candles, lingerie, and romantic music."

"Crack or heroin addicts will have a harder time falling and being in love."

Even though the applied math is eye-catchingly wrong, I don't really think this site's a joke.

From the site author's personal homepage (previous link):

I have passed up some good women in the belief that she exists. Yes, they will make good wives and mothers. That's like settling for a "B" or "C" grade. I need at least an "A". After gathering their profiles and crutching their numbers in my wife model, I find that they are "not statistically significant".

Posted by nchicha at May 16, 2003 03:37 AM