Nowadays, any reader of Boing Boing or Fark sees dozens of WTF sites everyday. But, I still remember my first WTF site; it was my freshman year in college, and the site was Real Dolls. The site played a short movie with a line like “Who needs love … when men can have something better?”*

I never forgot the site, but I didn’t return to it until I read Xeni Jardin’s recent report for Fleshbot on the Erotica LA trade show, which mentions the dolls (“beckoning showgoers with a zombie-like come-hither gaze”) and links to their site. And (understandably, I think,)** I was curious how the sex doll industry had interpreted and incoporated the last seven years of technological progress. (Apparently, what those 7 years did to the doll on the homepage was age her into Suzanne Somers.)

This curiosity was, in my opinion, richly rewarded. From now on, I think I’ll always gauge the current state of technology by the available range of sex doll specifications. Among Real Doll’s new features and options:

• Closing eyes: “Each eye has a seperate cable. The cables are found at the base of the skull in back of the head, and have a locking thumbscrew to lock the eyes at the desired position. The effect is very realistic…” It’s hard to think about realism when the word thumbscrew’s involved. Though, I have to admit, the word does sound appropriately dirty.
  
• Tanlines: “Due to the amount of labor required, we will only be able to produce limited quantities of dolls with this enhancement at any given time.” I’d say that tanlines are tacky, but men buying Real Dolls probably don’t concern themselves with the question of what is and isn’t tacky.
  
• SheMale Realdoll: “We can add a penis to any of our Realdoll models… Any size penis can be added, and the vagina of the doll can either be eliminated or remain intact, depending on the customer’s wishes.” Remember, dolls have no access to WHO and SDC.
  
• Custom Skintones:“Realdolls can be fabricated in special colors as custom orders. Pricing is determined depending on the color chosen. Click image for larger view.” (Hypothermia fetishes have been a long time coming.)
  
• Interactive sensory response system: “This system is composed of sensors embedded in the Realdoll’s breasts, vaginal and anal entries. The doll is connected via an ethernet cable (up to 100’) to your PC, and when the various sensors are triggered by activity, the doll will respond with sensor specific audio.”
  
• Hip Gyration system: “This is a robotic actuator that is embedded in the Realdoll’s chest/abdomen area. When activated by the external control unit, the doll will gyrate her hips in a pre-programmed pattern loop. Eventually this pattern will also be editable.”
  
• Male Real Dolls are also now available. (And Fuckin’ A, are they unappealing.) (Though it is funny, in a meta- way, to watch a Real Doll watching porn.)
  
• Also new to me: Real Doll’s Unreal Doll, which they simply call Sample 13.

Of course, if you’d prefer to customize mortal women, there’s always Girls in the Scenery (link, again, via Fleshbot):

If a Member Client will only see a French speaking German, who’s taller than 5’ 6” but shorter than him, and who wears her hair in a pixie cut, a pencil skirt on her hips and a French cuffed blouse—and who smokes—well, that’s who and what he’ll see. Right down to the brand of cigarette.

We deliver the ethnicity, age and body type a Member wants—or will—but, if a client requests, we can also deliver the education level, language skill, culinary interests, political leaning, media, entertainment, sports and recreational interests of the Agent Companion as well.

* (And I should have broken up with my Nietzsche-reading high school boyfriend when, at that line, I saw his face go happy with relief.)
** Oh, shut up.